Are You Saying You're Tired of Waiting for God?

A few days ago, I got very irritated about something very unimportant. I have no access to highspeed internet, but I really want to have it. Why? It would make things simpler for me being able to look up things online when I want. It would make things easier for my wife, going to school for her master's degree online. However, the main reason I want it is to play video games online. For me, gaming is a social experience. I love gaming, but playing online with friends is 10 times better than playing alone. If I had high speed, it would be another way to stay connected with friends.

Now, to get a full picture, I have been looking for a highspeed option for about 5 years. FIVE. YEARS. I have checked with satellite companies but they have expensive set up and equipment costs, expensive monthly charges, and online gaming won't work with satellite due to latency in the line. I have checked with cable companies, but none of them are even planing offering service for still yet years to come. I have checked on DSL, but we are way too far from the central office for it. I have even checked with cell phone companies, but none of them offer fast enough speeds in my area and they limit the usage each month. I had checked with local wireless companies to no avail as well. In short, there are no feasible options. I have been looking for 5 years, and nothing is available.

I came home a few days ago, frustrated, angry, and feeling defeated over this. My loving wife could tell I was just not in a good mood. I am so blessed to have her, I really "married up." After we put Isaiah to bed, she began to ask me what was wrong. I told her how frustrated I was with the situation. See, along with looking for 5 years, I have been praying about this for 5 years. Being honest, part of my frustration was with God. Why wasn't God answering this prayer? I knew it wasn't the most important thing, but it was something important to me and I felt like God was just ignoring me on this. Or worse, telling me to just wait. During our discussion (more accurately, my whining and Missy putting up with it for a bit) I said I was ready to settle and try an expensive option. Missy looked at me and called me out. "Are You Saying You're Tired of Waiting for God? That you don't think He can do this?" She asked me.

I was speechless. I was mad. I was fuming inside. She was right. I turned to her and grunted out, "I love you, good night." That was all I could get out. She hugged me, kissed me and told me goodnight as she went to bed. I prayed that night, "God, this still sucks. I still am not getting what I have been waiting for, but I will trust You. I will wait for Your timing." The next morning I felt revealed. I knew God had not left me, nor was He ignoring me. He knows what He is doing, even if I don't.

Hard lessons are never fun, but I know that I grow the most from hard lessons. Thank you God, for the wonderful wife you have given me who speaks truth, even when it is not what I want to hear, into my life. Thank you God, for the hard lessons.

In Christ,

jon walton

Crossroads Website